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Tribute to Unfaithful Men

For all the guys who cheat on their wives and have no compunction on displaying their amores to the public! Specially those who prey on unknowing victims! This is for you!



Hope this serves as guide for women

Cheating Husbands: Top 10 Ways on How to Catch a Cheating Husband

Rejection Slip

Rejection sucks. No doubt about it. Specially when you're down to your last buck and you're working your ass off trying to find a decent job. Getting rejected specially when you're desperate can very well prove to be the last straw. Many have been driven to commit suicide because of rejection.

One wisecrack on the other hand, decided he valued his life to much to commit suicide over a piece of rejection letter. So he took another tack---

---he sent one right back.

Dear Professor Knowitall,

Thank you for your letter of March 16. After careful
consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your
refusal to offer me an assistant professor position in your
department.

This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually
large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising
field of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.

Despite Prestigious' outstanding qualifications and previous
experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does
not meet my needs at this time. Therefore, I will assume the position
of assistant professor in your department this August. I look forward
to seeing you then.

Best of luck in rejecting future applicants.

Sincerely,
Chris L. Postdock

For those who understood the letter, no explanation is necessary. For those who didn't, no explanation is possible.

Right back at yah!

Religious Debate

One of my Friendster acquaintance sent this message:

Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to Convert to Catholicism or leave Italy .

There was a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope Offered a deal.
He would have a religious debate with the leader of the Jewish community. If the Jews won, they could stay in Italy .
If the Pope won, they would have to leave or convert.

The Jewish people met and picked an aged, but wise, Rabbi Moshe to represent them in the debate. However,
as Moshe spoke no Italian and The Pope spoke no Yiddish, they all agreed that it would be a "silent" debate.

On the chosen day, the Pope and Rabbi Moshe sat opposite each other.

The Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers.
Rabbi Moshe looked back and raised one finger.

Next ... The Pope waved his finger around his head.
Rabbi Moshe pointed to the ground where he sat.

The Pope then brought out a communion wafer and a chalice of wine.
Rabbi Moshe pulled out an apple.

With that, the Pope stood up and declared that he was beaten .
That Rabbi Moshe was too clever and that the Jews could stay in Italy .

Later, the Cardinals met with the Pope, asking what had happened.

The Pope said, "First, I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity.
He responded by holding up one finger to remind me that there is still only one God common to both our beliefs.

Then, I waved my finger around my head to show him that God was all around us.
He responded by pointing to the ground to show that God was also right here with us.

I pulled out the wine and wafer to show that God absolves us of all our Sins.
He pulled out an apple to remind me of the original sin.

He had me beaten at my every move and I could not continue."

Meanwhile ... The Jewish community was gathered around Rabbi Moshe.
"How did you win the debate?" they asked.

"I haven't a clue," said Moshe. "First he said to me that we had three days to get out of Italy , so I gave him the finger!

Then he tells me that the whole country would be cleared of Jews and I said to him we're staying right here."

"And then what?" asked a woman.

"Who knows? " said Moshe, "He took out his lunch so I took out mine."

Jokes Part 03

I learned something from this joke: if people think waxing poetic words is romantic---THINK AGAIN.

THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION ASKING FOR A TWO-LINE RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE, BUT THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND
LINE:

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.

I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you because I was pissed.

I thought that I could love no other --
that is until I met your brother.

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty
and so is your head.

I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take that paper bag off your face.

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes ......
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "Go to hell."

What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

Funny Jokes Part2

Mental Hospital Phone Menu

Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital.



Please select from the following options menu:



If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.



If you are codependent,

please ask someone to press 2 for you.



If you have multiple personalities,

press 3, 4, 5 and 6.



If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want.

Stay on the line so we can trace your call.



If you are delusional,

press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.



If you are schizophrenic,

listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.



If you are manic-depressive,

it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.



If you are dyslexic,

press 9696969696969696.



If you are bipolar,

please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the
beep.

Please wait for the beep.



If you have short-term memory loss,

press 9.

If you have short-term memory loss,

press 9.

If you have short-term memory loss,

press 9.



If you have low self-esteem,

please hang up. Our operators are too busy to talk with you.



If you are menopausal,

put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't
be crazy forever.



If you are blond,

don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.

Funny Jokes01

I was surfing the net today, and I came across these jokes ^_^

Black Testicles

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose.

A young, student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath.
"Nurse", he mumbles, from behind the mask. "Are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet." He struggles to ask again,
"Nurse, please check. Are my testicles black?"

Concerned that he may elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worry about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one
hand and his testicles in the other.

Then, she takes a close look and says, There's nothing wrong with them, Sir!"

The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but, listen very, very closely......




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